Former FBI Director James Comey claims he just happened upon yet another cool arrangement of seashells yesterday while innocently walking on the beach, whistling nonchalantly with his thumbs in his swimsuit pockets.
Critics charge that the seashells spell out a threatening message. But Comey insists the shells randomly arranged themselves into artistic form due to the action of wind and waves, possibly with the assistance of crabs with AI implants.
The Secret Service, alerted to the possibility of a threat on someone’s life, has been meticulously scouring Comey’s favorite beach, looking for winds and waves with bad intentions and keeping an eye out for AI-chipped crabs.
Reached at the White House, President Trump said he wasn’t worried about threats from winds, waves, crabs, or random lunatics, even if those random lunatics had served as FBI director.
